My nursing career started at Toronto Metropolitan University (formerly Ryerson University) school of nursing program. I was excited to graduate and I believed my classmates and I were made ready for the world of nursing after navigating through the many clinical placements including consolidating my clinical experiences at one of the downtown Toronto teaching hospitals. Immediately following graduation, most of my cohort secured full time permanent jobs that summer, but I did not because I had a trip planned for Christmas of that year; therefore, I accepted a full-time summer job.  That decision was instrumental in the direction of my nursing career.  On graduating, I thought I was ready to meet the world of nursing, however it was at that summer job, I grew a dislike for nursing. It was confusing because I had enjoyed my clinical placements and experiences throughout training. The only thing that kept me going through this job was the knowledge that it was not permanent, and I got to leave it for vacation.

After a great three weeks away in the Caribbean over the Christmas holidays, I returned from vacation the following January and now I had to think about finding a job and getting to work. My disdain for my summer experience paralyzed me; I stayed home for three months, toying with the decision and prospect of going back to school. It was during the third month of being home, I took the time to contemplate on my clinical experiences and the placements I enjoyed the most; suddenly the decision became clear. During training I had two paediatric rotations and those rotations were the ones I enjoyed the most; therefore Sick Kids was where I needed to be, and that was the organization I applied to.

Starting as a new nurse on the frontlines on the Ears Nose & Throat (ENT) unit, I worked with an incredible team of experienced nurses, who coached, mentored and helped me grow. They took the time to teach and lead, but that was no surprise since we had an awesome leader who spent time on the unit, she took time to help when we were busy. She would commonly come out of her office if we were busy especially when patients needed to be accepted post-operatively; she would accept the patient, receive hand over, settle the patient and leave us a note on the patient’s chart with instructions, “come to the office for report”. We took that for granted, but later I realized how much of a rarity she was as a leader. The ENT surgeons were incredibly committed and dedicated, and they competed the team.

I returned to enjoying nursing because I was a paediatric nurse. I learned to care for sick children and for their families and that was my pleasure. I gained tremendous experience navigating the ups and downs of caring for patients who simply needed their tonsils and adenoids out, to babies born with varying syndromes contributing to serious airway abnormalities and breathing difficulties. I rotated through the ophthalmology clinic providing sedation to kids needing eye examinations and assessments. On leaving ENT after a number of years, I worked in other areas of the organization from the Medical Information Centre and the Ontario Poison Prevention and Control Centre, finally moving to Perioperative Services rotating between the Surgical Day Care Unit (SDCU) and the Post Anesthetic Care Unit (PACU).

After about ten years on the frontline in various nursing roles, I ventured into leadership in the capacity of Child Health Services Manager for the SDCU and PACU where very quickly I needed to lean and build my leadership acumen to transform the teams and workplace culture from one of high attrition to become one of the desired departments within the organization. I gained experience shaping team structure, enhancing processes, analyzing and restructuring work flows, facilitating external partnerships, led projects including construction projects and championed best practices, one of the core objectives at Sick Kids. Within and outside the program, I led initiatives, instituted staff only meetings allowing teams opportunity to solve issues and make decisions, and I worked with my colleagues to formalize the organization’s manager/leadership group.

As a novice manager and leader, I took time to learn and understand my role. I was hired by a Director who provided me the autonomy and latitude to make decisions, make changes and to lead the teams in the direction I thought they needed to go; but she was always available at a moment’s notice to provide her knowledge, to coach, mentor and provide direction where needed. I chose to make decisions and led my teams guided by two personal principles; “if I were still at the bedside what would like to see happen”, and “I was no longer providing direct hands-on care to patients, therefore I needed to care for those who took care of them”.  These permitted me to include the teams in matters of patient care, unit/departmental changes from scheduling, to placement of unit supplies, to construction planning. I believe this approach brought the successes I enjoyed as a leader at Sick Kids.

Once I left Sick Kids and entered into what I fondly refer to as “the adult world”, I took the knowledge and experience gained and applied them; however, while somethings were similar, many things were different. I had entered into a work environment which was foreign to me because I now needed to work within the context of unions and Collective Agreements, aspects I was not familiar with, not as a member nor a leader. That experience allowed me the opportunity to learn and grow, but it also allowed for comparison of my own experiences and that of the teams I led. As I learned the various collective agreements and applied them, I recognized there were benefits for the members, but there was inflexibility for growth of the nursing teams to which I was accustomed.  I was used to nurses being allowed significant autonomy and exploring career opportunities based on their merit, and the personal and professional growth for nurses that came with that culture; to now nurses not trying because of their level of seniority. I began to pursue ways to alter the inflexibilities to provide opportunities for growth and development within the context of the Collective Agreements.

As I continued on to other organizations not only did I have to navigate the confines of the unions, I also encountered some unsettling characteristics of healthcare leadership culture. I was accustomed to a culture of servant and transformative leadership; however I witnessed and experienced authoritative leadership, “me first” leadership mentality, and worked with those who wielded their titles and positions to diminish and to divert credit to themselves to gain eminence. I also met non-nursing managers, who explained they understood nursing and nurses because of familiarity with the Collage of Nurses standards and guidelines, therefore, they were able and equipped to lead nurses effectively. I am not in total disagreement that non-nurses can lead nurses, however I believe it can only be done successfully if the leader recognizes they are not the experts on nursing work and nursing information; that rests with the nurses they lead. I witnessed the impact these actions and philosophies had on the teams being led and compared them with the way I was led and the differences in impact. I concluded that as a leader I had the responsibility to become better, and ensure my impact was positive on those I lead. Therefore, I pivoted from a post graduate degree in Health Administration to one of Organizational Leadership.

I often engage in self-reflection, not just as a leader but in every circumstance, and as I reflected on my experiences, on what I have witnessed from some of the leaders around me, and after accepting a position and working in one of the most toxic work environments, I contemplated on what would I like to leave behind as a leader. I reflected on my work at Sick Kids both on the frontline and in leadership; as nurses and leaders we were afforded the opportunity to work to our strengths, allowed to participate in projects, allowed autonomy to make decisions and were groomed for success and succession. I then made the decision that my purpose as a leader is to leave everything and everyone better than how I found them. I made the commitment to make a difference in the lives of the healthcare teams who work with me and to encourage nurses on the frontline to become leaders in every capacity and for managers to be the difference their teams need to progress and grow. It was in these moments of reflection, I realized my passion.  Simon Sinek (the Optimism Company) explains that one’s passion is the outcome of working towards something they believe in which has a positive impact on the world. This website is a continuation of my journey and purpose in healhtcare; to leave units, departments, programs and healthcare providers in every capacity, much better than I found them; to harness my knowledge and experiences to contribute to building future heathcare leaders and to assist as many people as possible to become better at what they do, especially if they care for others.